How to Tell if Your Daughter is the Mean Girl on Pageant Weekend (and what to do if she is)





It's a pageant mom's worst nightmare (one of many, I'm sure) to discover that her darling daughter is a mean girl. In fact-it could be quite embarrassing. Here are some things to look out for so you can proactively 'mother' your daughter out of some less-than-desired situations.

She’s clique-ish. Pageant girls are known for building relationships over the years and it’s easy to get comfortable with one group. This is not good in pageantry, especially since judges and directors want a titleholder who is congenial. If your daughter would rather only hang around her 4 BFFs, she might be a mean girl.


She’s easily annoyed. If your daughter gets frustrated at the slightest suggestion or favor asked, there's a good chance she shows the same amount of patience to others. Not good. She might be a mean girl.


She’s rude. Have you ever caught your daughter making a snide remark about someone else, maybe even making fun of someone or mocking at someone’s misfortune? Does she roll her eyes when she doesn't like what she hears?  If so, she might be a mean girl.


She’s helpful, but only to people she knows or likes. It’s easy to help your BFF, but what about people whom your daughter doesn't know, or is different from her? Does she show the same enthusiasm to help or encourage another contestant? If not, you guessed it- she might be a mean girl.


If your daughter is the mean girl, chances are she picks up many of her cues from those she is closest to, including you. One thing you can do is set a positive example of how she should carry herself on and off stage. Refrain from making negative remarks about the pageant staff, other parents, contestants, how the program is run, and what the outcome of the contests are. Take everything in stride and she’ll learn to do the same.


Have a heart to heart. Encourage her that she is a wonderful person and that she is beautiful inside and out. Challenge her to overcome her shortcomings by giving her specific tasks that you think will help her blossom into a friendlier person. Challenge her to sit with someone new and strike up a conversation or compliment every girl she meets. It will not only grow her, but she’ll leave a much more positive impression on everyone she meets.


Get her more involved in the community helping others. Sometimes mean girls suffer from an entitlement complex that can be easily eradicated by helping others less fortunate than her.

NAM contestants having fun and getting to know each other


NAM contestants meet for the first time at a pajama mixer

NAM contestants meet for the first time at a pajama mixer



Discuss these very points with her before pageant weekend and let her know you’ll support her in her journey to becoming the best version of herself that she can be on her quest for the crown.

Envision your reign.

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